Each year I reflect on the resolutions that I made at the start of the year and whether any of those came to fruition. At the beginning of 2023, I broke up with my ex so I knew that the first few months of the year would be tough, but I was very hopeful that there were good tidings in store too. Here I will reflect back on 12 of my resolutions for 2023:
1) Borrow my doggy
As someone who loves dogs but lives in London and doesn't have enough time to take care of one daily, Borrow My Doggy was an excellent way to spend time and build a connection with a dog, without owning one. This is a website which allows dog lovers to 'borrow' dogs in order to relieve owners of their responsibilities for a few hours. You can choose how often to look after a dog, as well as whether you want to walk it or just cuddle with it - I wanted to look after a dog once a week whilst working from home. I was in the perfect situation for it as I lived very close to a park, had a small garden, and lived alone.
The first dog I met was a cocker spaniel called Leo - he lived a five-minute walk away and was only six months old when we met so was a bundle of energy. This pup was gorgeous and very popular in the park; he wasn't afraid of anything and loved going on walks and meeting new people (especially other dog owners). That said, he had never seen a days training in his life and was often getting into trouble, meaning that barely any work got done when I'd look after him. Although I loved Leo with my whole heart, he did put me off getting my own dog anytime soon as he demanded my attention 24/7. Regardless, it was a great experience that I look back on fondly and a great way to understand what looking after a dog actually entails (in my case, moving everything valuable upstairs to prevent Leo from breaking anything).
Leo's owners were a lovely couple, who even offered to pay me at one point (I declined as I had no prior experience looking after a dog so it was just as beneficial for me as it was for them) and when I moved out of Kennington (Leo's neighbourhood), they gave me a lovely card and a bar of Tony's salted caramel and sea salt chocolate, which became one of my favourite chocolates and always reminds me of them. I would whole-heartedly recommend Borrow My Doggy to any dog lover looking to spend more time with dogs in the area!
2) Buy a house
In 2023, I completed a Bucket List item: buying a house. After the seller pulled out on the day of exchange in December 2022, I was devastated to have to start the entire process from scratch all over again. I didn't enjoy working with my previous estate agent or lawyer so decided to take my business elsewhere, and ended up having a much more enjoyable experience. In May 2023, I moved into my new place. I now realise that the experience with the first house was a blessing in disguise as I much prefer my current property, which is a 5-minute walk from a large park and a tube station, and all of my immediate family and current boyfriend live within 15 minutes of me. If you'd like to learn more about my experience of buying a house, read this blog post.
It goes without saying that I am extremely lucky and grateful to be able to have bought a property in London at 25, and one of my favourite things is the first thing you see when you open the door: the bookshelves, which leads me on to my next resolution.
3) Read 30 books
Each year I set a reading challenge on Goodreads, which can range vastly but recently has remained within the 26-35 range. Although I enjoy reading a lot, I never want it to feel like a chore, and want to be able to enjoy hefty books without the fear that I won't meet my challenge. This year I aimed to read 30 books, which I have surpassed - stay tuned for my post on my 'Top Books of 2023'!
4) Try something new each month
One of the first solutions I had to my increased amount of free time after becoming single was to try something new each month. I started off very strongly in January, completing 8000+ steps daily, trying a plethora of new recipes, trying puppy yoga, and starting therapy (among other things). This continued over February and March, where I joined ClassPass and tried a bunch of new classes and met Leo (see the first resolution for context). By April, it had withered down slightly but I began playing tennis regularly with colleagues and in May I amped it up a bit when I took a cooking class for the first time and bought a house. That said, I completely forgot about it over the following months, until a friend brought it up (as they'd been inspired and decided to follow suit). Although I had continued trying new things each month, it became less intentional and so I am aiming to roll this resolution over to 2024 as it was a great way to get out of my comfort zone and create new experiences.
5) Improve my cooking
When I broke up with my ex in January, I found Sundays the hardest to get through as the day seemed to last an eternity and friends were often with their partners. Therefore, I decided to kill two birds with one stone: improve my cooking, whilst also spending time with a loved one each Sunday. I did this through 'Cooking with Claud', which consisted of me and my cousin cooking a new meal together each Sunday. We made a variety of tasty dishes, including: caldo verde (a Portuguese soup), banoffee pie, BBQ jackfruit, lamb tagine, risotto, meatballs, lamb shank in a red wine sauce, beef casserole, and pâté (using a family recipe). This was a lot of fun and a great way to catch up, however as summer approached we both became very busy and the cooking sessions became less and less frequent until they stopped altogether. That said, I think that 'Cooking with Claud' served its purpose and although I'd love to keep cooking with my cousin every now and again, weekly was too much of a commitment for the long term.
6) Buy a watch
This resolution may seem slightly rogue, however there is some context to it. When I graduated from my Bachelor's degree in 2019, my parents offered me a watch as a gift. After some months of indecision, I finally decided which watch I wanted, and my parents were keen to buy it. That was until we realised that the whole market had changed within those few months and now it wouldn't be as simple as ordering the exact watch I wanted, but instead signing up to the waiting list and hoping to receive a call at some point with an offer of a watch (not necessarily the watch). Each of us submitted our details, however as my brother had previously bought a watch from the same company we knew that he was most likely to get an offer first. The funny part is that even if you receive the call, you only have 24 hours to purchase the watch, and it cannot be purchased on your behalf (so if you're out of the country over those 24 hours, tough).
I have travelled considerably since 2019 the past few years, and in many countries that I visited I'd have a look for the watch, including in the UAE, Portugal, and Switzerland, but to no avail. Every store had extremely low availability of watches, with empty cabinets and any watches labelled 'for exhibition only' as demand was high and supply was low (as they are all made in Switzerland and it takes 10 years to train one horologist, so the supply couldn't keep up with the demand).
Although this was a 2019 graduation present, it was only in July 2023 (after graduating from my Master's degree and being a week away from my final exams to become a Chartered Accountant) that I received a call out of the blue, stating that my exact watch had been ordered and if I still wanted it I could purchase it that evening. Luckily, I was in the office and the store was close by so I asked my brother to join me (as he is very knowledgeable about watches) and the job's a good 'un! We were offered drinks and given a plain bag to put the box in in order to appear inconspicuous, which I found interesting too.
7) Go to Ascot
One of my closest university mates lives in Ascot and since First Year has always invited me to attend Royal Ascot, one of the most famous horse races in the UK. It is held over a week in June most years, however I have always been abroad over it (except for during covid, when it was cancelled). In 2023, I was set on going and even saved the dates in my diary in January so that I wouldn't book a trip over it and could finally see horse racing in person for the first time. I got tickets and despite losing every bet and getting IDed (something that has never happened to anyone in our group over the past seven years), I had a lot of fun. I am unsure how I feel about horse racing ethically so I doubt I'll become a regular but it was fun to dress up and lovely to see everyone.
8) Join a social sport
As I mentioned in my 30 before 30, it is important to me to exercise consistently, regardless of what that activity is. In the recent past I have gotten into running and salsa, however in 2023 I wanted to prioritise a more sociable sport in order to socialise whilst staying in shape. All throughout the summer I played tennis weekly with a group of colleagues, which I enjoyed greatly, and hope to repeat next year. That said, as soon as the days became shorter, we stopped playing, which was unfortunate, and means that I need to find an additional sport in 2024.
9) Get a skincare routine
Although my skin wasn't terrible, it also wasn't perfect and I didn't have a regular skincare routine, resorting to using different products when I felt like it. I'd also had allergic reactions to certain products over the last couple of years, so decided to knuckle down and get into the habit of using the same products each morning and evening in order to find what worked for my skin.
I have found that a simple routine motivates me to stick to it and currently that involves a gentle cleanser, a peptide moisturiser, and SPF in the morning, followed by a gentle cleanser, a retinol serum, and a peptide moisturiser in the evening.
10) Get second piercings
Although I'd wanted second pierceings since school, I had no real rush to get them done, so had never made it a priority. After ten years of postponing this, I decided to just make an appointment in the first week of January in 2023 and finally got them done!
11) Start therapy
I had always wanted to have therapy as I was under the impression that everybody could benefit from therapy, and having gone through a break up at the start of 2023, I thought that it was the perfect time to give it a try as it would be easier to open up with that topic.
A couple of months down the line, I was shocked to find that I was essentially paying to have a chat in which everything I said was validated. Don't get me wrong, it was nice to have my stances validated, however it didn't actually change anything. My therapist would often forget things I'd said and would focus on something I'd mentioned in passing, rather than topics I actually wanted to discuss. We did touch on a big fear of mine, but I didn't feel any different after the event. Furthermore, my therapist would often comment that I was very self-aware, which is apparently harder for a therapist to deal with, and when I said that I'd like to stop as I wasn't benefitting greatly from the sessions, she said that she agreed and was going to suggest the same thing. That said, I also think that in hindsight I didn't actually want to change and more so wanted to feel happy post-break up so I may come back to it at some point in the future.
12) Invest more in friendships
Although I've always valued my friendships highly and often get (positive) comments from others about it, I wanted to invest more time and energy into them and be more intentional as I realised that my friendships are a significant source of joy for me.
This was made even more apparent after my break up, as certain friends really went above and beyond, with one taking me on an incredible date (with flowers, Italian food, cocktails, and watching Mamma Mia in the theatre), and another delivering a bag (with my favourite flowers, my favourite cupcakes, a card, and hot chocolate ingredients) on my doorstop as soon as I told her I'd broken up with my ex. Another close friend spent hours with me as I debated whether to break up or not and checked in regularly after the fact.
Therefore, I wanted to be more intentional about my friendships and really carve out time to focus on and prioritise them. Whether that be spending time together visiting Central America, Colombia, or the Cotswolds with friends I don't see often, scheduling time once a month to see a group of uni mates, or organising a friendsgiving with colleagues, I was always happier after spending time with friends.
2023 was filled with brunches, wine nights, pub quizzes, and dinners, all of which have been a huge source of joy for me. Furthermore, I've been more intention about creating new friendships, such as with my brother's girlfriend, who I now consider a good friend, and maintaining old ones. Some one-off activities I've loved doing with older friends include a bake off, a paint-and-wine class, pottery painting, and dog walking.
My colleagues have also meant a lot to me, especially this past year, and I cannot count the amount of small gestures they've done (such as picking up a brownie for me whilst at Pret, or treating me with flowers after visiting my new flat), which put a big smile on my face.
I cannot overstress how big a difference it makes to be surrounded by people that love and support you and the impact that can have on your mental health and wellbeing!
Final thoughts
Reflecting back, although 2023 started with a break-up, I have learnt so much and felt so grateful for my friends, my family, and the opportunities I was given, both in my travels and in London. I am very lucky with where I am in life and am excited to work towards my new resolutions in 2024.
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